starry eyed
by buy the stars
Summary: You forget about Nikki for a moment, and you find yourself falling in love with Alicia. / for laura! summer '12 fic exchange.


summary: You forget about Nikki for a moment, and you find yourself falling in love with Alicia. / for laura (i'll be a runaway). summer '12 fic exchange.

prompts: broken cellphones, "somehow, the complete un-poetic-ness of life is what makes it poetic," tattered quilts, and vintage hats.

pairing: todd/alicia

hope you this, laura! (:

disclaimed.

/

1. You first see her at some fancy party, trying on some _vintage hats_ with her friends. You've seen her before, obviously, she's the hottest girl at BOCD, and has never shaken her reputation as the class slut. But you've never really talked to her, stared into those big brown doe eyes of hers, and shit- have her lips always looked so kissable?

_Shut up, Todd, _you think_. You have a girlfriend. Nikki. Who's pretty. And nice. And smells good._

But when she comes up to you, her lips quirked up into a catlike smile in a tiny black dress, Nikki vanishes from your mind instantly. "Todd, right?" she purrs, and you swear your breath catches in your throat (Oh God, Harris would think you're being the biggest pussy right now.)

"Princess Alicia," you say, kiss her hand and she giggles- a wonderful sound. You wonder if its possible to fall in love with a girl's laugh. She bites her glossed lip, and she's too damn perfect to be standing there untouched with her dress bunched up and her makeup slightly smudged. You lean in and so does she, her nose, long and slender, bumps into yours. And then suddenly, it's as if the cool-girl function in her brain reboots. She clears her throat, her lips in a wobbly smile. She sweeps her dark hair off her back and asks, "Zip me up?"

You can't say no to her.

/

2. The second time you see her, she's broken. She's standing on your doorstep, with a _tattered quilt _around her shoulders. Tears are falling down her face and she looks so sad you can't ignore her. Being the nice and reliable boy you are (yeah, right), you grab her hand. "Cam broke up with me," she sobbed, her shoulders shaking. For a second, you see that self-absorbed girl that everyone hated, the girl who thought the world revolved around her. But in a moment, it's gone and you see what she is underneath. A heartbroken girl.

"Why are you even here?" you ask. "You don't even know me that well."

She hesitates. "You're always there for everyone else, I was just thinking you could be there for me just this one time." You smile in spite of yourself and wrap your arms around her tiny waist. There's something about it that feels so wrong but it feels so fucking right, too. As she cried, you hold her close to you, smelling her shampoo, and this is the first time you've seen her for her for who she really is.

You forget about Nikki for a moment, and you find yourself falling in love with Alicia. Just a little bit.

/

3. You've never snuck out before. That is, until Alicia climbs through your window, smiling broadly with wild eyes and tousled hair. "Todd Lyons," she says. "You're about to have a wild night."

You don't hesitate.

She takes you to some grungy bar in the alley, _broken cellphones _cracking underneath your feet. She flashes a smile at the bouncer, and you're in. Without even drinking, you already feel drunk by being around her. The edges in your vision is blurred and the colors are spinning. Her smirk is beautiful under the technicolor lights and her hips are swinging to the beat of the drums. You grab her waist and pull her to you, and she throws her head back and laughs. You stumble to the bar, arm still snaked around her waist and ask for a drink. The bartender, who looks suspiciously like a drag queen, doesn't hesitate and slides one to you. The alcohol slides down your throat, and your nerves are disappearing. Your whole body is buzzing and you fade in and out of unconsciousness. Meaningless rambles slip out of your mouth and you swear Alicia says, "I love you."

And suddenly, you can't stand it anymore. You want her so fucking bad, so you press your lips against hers. They're sugar pink and taste like liquor. As you kiss, you can feel her lips curved up into a smile.

Is this what happiness feels like? You're sweating out every bad feeling you've ever had and it feels so good.

You don't get home until four in the morning.

/

4. You're laying on her bed at 9 o'clock because her parents are out and she called you over. You talk to her for hours, never once do you stop talking. You learn that her favorite thing to eat is brownies, her first A+ was on an essay she wrote about the quote '_somehow, the complete un-poetic-ness of life is what makes it poetic,' _and she loves it when it snows. You intertwine your fingers with hers and kiss her. Her lips taste like bubblegum. You're about to kiss her again, but she stops you.

"You're dating Nikki, Todd. Doesn't this feel wrong to you?" _Oh right, her. _

"But I love _you_." Your words surprise you as much as they surprise her but you don't regret them.

She kisses you softly at first, then harder. You pull off every item of clothing faster and faster each time.

They make love on a Saturday morning. Outside, ominous gray clouds are gathered and snow starts drifting down slowly.

/

5. "I can't do this, Alicia. I'm sorry. I love you," you scribble on a post-it note. You can't do this. She doesn't deserve you. You can't cheat on her with Nikki. She's too good for that. You stick the note on a random pillow. _It's for the best, _you think, but it doesn't make it hurt any less.

You kiss her softly on the lips for the final time, trying to memorize her features.

/

6. "I'm sorry, Nikki." You called Nikki after you grabbed your shit and put your pants on on Alicia's yard, getting some strange looks from her neighbours.

"You cheated on me, Todd. Do you expect me to be okay with this?" Her eyes are full of hurt and confusion.

"You're the one I want, Nikki, I swear." _No, you're not._

She looks at you skeptically but she kisses you anyway and her lips taste like strawberries. You'd rather have Alicia and her lips like candy, but you kiss Nikki back anyway.

"I'll take you back on one condition. You don't ever look or talk to her ever again. If you do, I swear to God, Todd, I'm dumping your fucking ass."

"Whatever it takes for you to take me back. I love you." _No, I don't. _

She kisses you again and Alicia's heartbroken face flashes in your mind but you just kiss Nikki harder.

/

7. Things are back to normal. Whatever the hell normal is.

The golden couple, Cam and Alicia are back together after a week.

You've kept true to your promise. You haven't spoken to Alicia since you left her house and she hasn't spoken to you. Sometimes you cross paths, and you think of the memories you share with her but you brush it off.

Sometimes when you kiss Nikki, you close your eyes and pretend it's Alicia. You would rather have her, the girl with the glazed over eyes and the unsteady smile, with her tiny black bunched up dress.

But you can't have her. So you keep pretending.

/

fin.


End file.
